from Target and in it, they were hawking these horribly ugly panties for women. They’re boy-style. And I don’t mean boy legged ones either. No, these are styled like men’s tighty whiteys. Look how ugly! I don’t care that they’re pink. I’d rather be boiled in oil than to wear panties that look like men’s underwear. I’m a FEMALE. I prefer my panties to look like panties. I just find those so disturbing.
Not really. But kind of.
What I’m talking about is that I am now qualified for an extension in my unemployment benefits. The thing is? I make more money from sitting at home and collecting back some of the taxes I’ve paid than I do going to my crappy little retail job. (I told ya’ I took a GIANT cut in pay, didn’t I?!)
Makes perfect sense to stay at home...doesn’t it? Well, not really. Because the extension is only for 3 months worth of pay and I would kinda miss those misfits that I work with there. I’m fairly confident I could get another job Just. Like. It. but is that what I really want? Not really.
Here is the other thing...I can collect the difference between what I’m making working my crappy little retail job and what unemployment benefits are. So I could continue to work there and still get part of my taxes back, too.
And before someone gets on a high horse and prances down to click the comments button to tell me what sort of “OMFG LEWSUR” I am for collecting benefits, know this: You have NO idea how MUCH we pay in taxes every year so you can fuck right off and die.
Speaking of fucking right off and dying, I hope Hasbro goes bankrupt for making them take Scrabulous off Facebook. I hear their bloated piece of shit Scrabble game sucks donkey balls on there. I won’t be playing it.
I really do seriously wonder about this...daily. For instance, today I drove to Sacramento to go to a store. (Store was way overpriced and didn’t really have much more than my other store...in fact, it may have less...but I digress.) While on the drive there, I noticed the traffic was slowing and I saw all this hay flying around. Now, I’m not talking a hay storm here. More like little bits of hay were blowing around as cars passed over it. Anyway, finally about 5 miles up the road from when I first started noticing the hay, I see a giant hay truck driving at speed on the freeway. Now, it wasn’t really blowing around much hay, but people were FUH-REEEK-KING out over it. Swerving around it and slowing down. I’m thinking out loud at this point because no one was in the car with me and because I was fed up, “JUST DRIVE AROUND THE EFFING HAY TRUCK, IDIOT!” Now as far as I know, hay is still sort of like...dried grass, right? WHY it was causing these people to drive like idiots is beyond me. Well, not really...because they are just DUMB.
Again with dumb, while I was in the store today, a woman came in with her like 47 kids and they were all screaming and yelling and running around and bumping into shit all over the store. At one point, this one started screaming like a banshee (reasons unknown) at her sister and her mother looked at ME. Like *I* am going to do something about her child. I am sure I had a look of shock and disgust on my face. I will never understand why parents don’t parent their children. Scary.
Oh well. Not everyone can be perfect like me.
BIG WHOOP. I ain’t turning soft, Mary Dawn! Hag.
Anyway, yes, alive. I am. NO need to send out a search party (unless the search party is carrying Malibu rum, cheese and chocolate, then by ALL means, send them!)
I’ve just been on a break. WE WERE ON A BREAK! I’m not one to overdramatize the whole “taking a break” thing so I just did. Okay? Fine. I’m not saying my break is over.
Anyway, so what is up in my world? Well....nothing much exciting. Well...except my brother and SIL are going to have another baby! They’ll soon have a whole litter of those things running around. Creepy. 
Work is.....well, work. Still with the funky hours that drive me insane.
And on the subject of work....now, y’all know that I work in the drugs/pharmacy part of the grocery store, right? Well...I do..if you didn’t know. ANYway. I am never...ever...ever...surprised anymore at what people do. I am amazed sometimes but for the most part, I’ve come to expect that they will all be assholes or that they will overshare at some point or that they will be pissed off at the most RUH-tarded thing EVer.
For example, old men are categorized three ways...really sweet and harmless, lechers, and grumpy old farts with nothing better to do than to be an asshole. There is one may who when I asked him if I could help him, he replied to me, “I’m standing here ain’t I?” My thought? Yes, you cantankerous old fart and if you are going to be a rude asshole, then you won’t be standing there much longer coz I’ll knock you down and break your hip. And let us take for instance the woman who was upset that we didn’t carry unbleached tampons because they regular ones UPSET THE BALANCE IN HER VAGINA. Thanks for the overshare.
And then today. We had a woman who was annoying the piss out of several people because we didn’t have an iced tea pitcher with a spigot spout on it for her. Seriously. She was going on for FIFTEEN MINUTES about this stupid-ass pitcher. And then she went in to how expensive the store had gotten. DUH BITCH...EVERYTHING HAS GOTTEN MORE EXPENSIVE. . . WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? And then she went on some more about the tea pitcher. I was feeling like, “OMFG WE ARE A GROCERY STORE! IT ISN’T AS THOUGH WE ARE OUT OF MILK OR BREAD.” For fuck’s sake. Go to Target and Wal-Mart if you want a whole bunch of shit that the GROCERY STORE doesn’t carry and while you’re there buy your stupid groceries so you can get them CHEAP. Cheap, dumb whore.
Then I have a customer WITH A CHILD...there is a child involved....I just wanted to point that out...that I adore. I love her and her 4 year old son is so sweet and awesome and such a smart boy! Why can’t they ALL be like that...with well behaved children and NON-fuck-nutted?
Anyway....enough about that.
OMG I almost forgot! Have y’all noticed how....LIGHT people are getting? Like everyone is glowing white for fear that the sun is going to come down and ass-rape them or something. I mean, I know I am translucent. I always have been. But dude, it is SO weird to see everyone so pasty white.
I’m off to eat chips and dip and glory in all thing unnatural to eat. 
I’m very much in favor of it. I say raise the gasoline prices to TWENTY dollars per US gallon and raise the price of goods by another 50%.
No. I’m not crazy. No. I’m not particularly rich nor do I own stocks in oil or really much of anything anymore.
Here is the reason: Today I went shopping at Target. Usually, this Target is nut-to-butt full of loud-ass bitches standing around in the aisles like the assholes they tend to be. But today? Today was different. I swear to you that there couldn’t have been more than 25 customers in the whole store. It was amazing. I didn’t have to worry about someone’s unruly child darting out of an aisle in front of me. I didn’t have to walk around the statues that are always congregating in the aisles. No, today I walked unimpeded through the entire store. And when I went to pay for my items there was absolutely no wait whatsoever to pay.
Finally I can stand to go out in public again now that all the people are staying home because of $4.49/US gallon gasoline and inflated prices. Finally I can shop in peace. Finally I can get what I need without being annoyed the fuck to death with stupid people.
