What the fuck am I talking about?

This:

Is it me or is that Creamy Sweet Corn Soup frowning?  :(

What. The. Fuck?  Now, I don’t know what the hell the people at Purina People Chow (Jack In the Box, you see, the chain of restaurants used to be owned by Ralston Purina..makers of Puppy Chow and Dog Chow and Cat Chow....thus, they are referred to by me as Purina People Chow ) were thinking when they approved this commercial, but I think it is slightly disturbing and WAY annoying.  In fact, Jack In the Box had another annoying commercial a few years back.  It featured a bologna eater (you see, I refer to single men who have crappy, dirty cars or those who wear sweat pants as bologna eaters because no one in their right mind would ever have a crappy, dirty car or wear sweat pants unless they were single and nearing middle age losers with crappy jobs, thus meaning they ate stupid, cheap food like bologna sandwiches as they trotted along in their WoW game in their mother’s basement) anyway...it was this guy who was eating this huge-ass burger and shit was dripping off of it and he was making slurpy sounds and eating like a bologna eater would eat (in my imagination) which is all loud and messy and without a fork and knife or napkin.

Anyway.  I hate Jack in the Box commercials.  Though their breakfast burritos are kinda good even if they do have potatoes in them.  And their tea is good...but not as good as McDonald’s iced tea. 

A woman that I know casually told me that she was not voting for Barack Obama because of his name.  *blink blink blink* Then she goes on to say, “You know, that name.  I don’t trust it.  I mean they say he isn’t, but I just can’t know.  I mean, his father was.” *blink blink blink*

A NAME?  You aren’t voting for someone because of a name?  I’m not voting for Barack Obama because I don’t agree with most of what he says...not because of his race, his gender, what he had for breakfast, what color his tie is, whether or not he is regular, what religion he is or is not, how many socks he owns or his name.

I was floored, y’all.  I didn’t know what to say.  I couldn’t even pretend like I didn’t know what she was trying to say.  All I could do was blink.  I mean, I live in the People’s Republic of California.  Peace, love, equality for all...and the rest of that happy horse shit. 

I really hate ignorance.

Here is the link to my Etsy shop...if y’all are ever interested in buying some of these cards that I slave away hours and hours to make.  (Okay, maybe not that long...but some are at least an hour!) And yes, I will ship to other places besides the US and Canada.  I gotta find a cheap place to buy mailing envelopes so I can reduce the shipping price.  Obviously the ones that are more time consuming or have more “product” on them are more than the less fancy ones.  They all come with an envelope but be aware...if you plan to mail the card to someone, you will have to pay additional fees to the postal person...because of the bulk of the card.

ANYway…

Here is a sample of what I have in my shop:

So, I went through my Flickr friends list and chose a few at random.  Can you guess who they are?    Some worked well and other fell far short.  heh

>br>

Anyway...anyway! 

So I haven’t shared a foot picture with you guys lately.  Oh wait.  Have I shared any foot pictures with you?  I’m sure I have but maybe you don’t know the story....so....here it is.  Wherever I go and whomever I’m with at the time, I must take a photograph of my feet.  We usually try to pick cool spots like the beach in Kauai where the chick “washed that man right outta her hair” and the place in Boston where they did that massacre thinggy.  I have a whole collection of them from all over the place.  So, I was thinking the other day that I don’t have a good foot picture from here in my house....sooo....I leave you with my latest foot picture.  Notice the unpainted piggies?  Yeah, why bother when they’re crammed inside a closed toe shoe like we’re required to wear at work.  Yeah, like dropping those BIG HEAVY GIGANTOR pills on them is going to hurt them.  Actually, some of the bottles of pills at the pharmacy are kinda big.  The ones that we fill a lot of come in BIG HEAVY GIGANTOR bottles before we divvy them up into eency bottles and sell them to people for a bazillion dollars or whatever it costs for a prescription drug these days.



This_little_piggy._._.hehe_.jpg

Later, y’all!

Then there is shampoo from London, Paris, New York, Tokyo, Los Angeles.  Oh yeah, because that helps my decision making.  Thanks.  Why not shampoo from Cleveland or Rancho Cucamonga?

AND THEN there are endorsements...endorsed by Allure Magazine, Glamour magazine, 4x4 Trucks magazine, Photography magazine....I even saw one that said, “Endorsed by blondes.” Well THAT is a rousing fucking endorsement, eh? 

I just wanted shampoo that doesn’t stink so much it makes me want to die.  I just wanted a shampoo that says, “CLEANS YOUR HAIR AND DOESN’T MAKE IT FALL OUT.”

For the record, I went with John Frieda Sheer Blonde shampoo and conditioner because it smelled the best.  EVEN THOUGH I don’t have blonde hair.  I’m such a rebel.

What I’m talking about is that I am now qualified for an extension in my unemployment benefits.  The thing is?  I make more money from sitting at home and collecting back some of the taxes I’ve paid than I do going to my crappy little retail job.  (I told ya’ I took a GIANT cut in pay, didn’t I?!)

Makes perfect sense to stay at home...doesn’t it?  Well, not really.  Because the extension is only for 3 months worth of pay and I would kinda miss those misfits that I work with there.  I’m fairly confident I could get another job Just. Like. It. but is that what I really want?  Not really. 

Here is the other thing...I can collect the difference between what I’m making working my crappy little retail job and what unemployment benefits are.  So I could continue to work there and still get part of my taxes back, too. 

And before someone gets on a high horse and prances down to click the comments button to tell me what sort of “OMFG LEWSUR” I am for collecting benefits, know this:  You have NO idea how MUCH we pay in taxes every year so you can fuck right off and die.

Speaking of fucking right off and dying, I hope Hasbro goes bankrupt for making them take Scrabulous off Facebook.  I hear their bloated piece of shit Scrabble game sucks donkey balls on there.  I won’t be playing it.

Again with dumb, while I was in the store today, a woman came in with her like 47 kids and they were all screaming and yelling and running around and bumping into shit all over the store.  At one point, this one started screaming like a banshee (reasons unknown) at her sister and her mother looked at ME.  Like *I* am going to do something about her child.  I am sure I had a look of shock and disgust on my face.  I will never understand why parents don’t parent their children.  Scary.

Oh well.  Not everyone can be perfect like me.

Anyway, yes, alive.  I am.  NO need to send out a search party (unless the search party is carrying Malibu rum, cheese and chocolate, then by ALL means, send them!)

I’ve just been on a break.  WE WERE ON A BREAK!  I’m not one to overdramatize the whole “taking a break” thing so I just did.  Okay?  Fine.  I’m not saying my break is over.

Anyway, so what is up in my world?  Well....nothing much exciting.  Well...except my brother and SIL are going to have another baby!  They’ll soon have a whole litter of those things running around.  Creepy. 

Work is.....well, work.  Still with the funky hours that drive me insane. 

And on the subject of work....now, y’all know that I work in the drugs/pharmacy part of the grocery store, right?  Well...I do..if you didn’t know.  ANYway.  I am never...ever...ever...surprised anymore at what people do.  I am amazed sometimes but for the most part, I’ve come to expect that they will all be assholes or that they will overshare at some point or that they will be pissed off at the most RUH-tarded thing EVer. 

For example, old men are categorized three ways...really sweet and harmless, lechers, and grumpy old farts with nothing better to do than to be an asshole.  There is one may who when I asked him if I could help him, he replied to me, “I’m standing here ain’t I?” My thought?  Yes, you cantankerous old fart and if you are going to be a rude asshole, then you won’t be standing there much longer coz I’ll knock you down and break your hip.  And let us take for instance the woman who was upset that we didn’t carry unbleached tampons because they regular ones UPSET THE BALANCE IN HER VAGINA.  Thanks for the overshare. 

And then today.  We had a woman who was annoying the piss out of several people because we didn’t have an iced tea pitcher with a spigot spout on it for her.  Seriously.  She was going on for FIFTEEN MINUTES about this stupid-ass pitcher.  And then she went in to how expensive the store had gotten.  DUH BITCH...EVERYTHING HAS GOTTEN MORE EXPENSIVE. . . WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?  And then she went on some more about the tea pitcher.  I was feeling like, “OMFG WE ARE A GROCERY STORE!  IT ISN’T AS THOUGH WE ARE OUT OF MILK OR BREAD.” For fuck’s sake.  Go to Target and Wal-Mart if you want a whole bunch of shit that the GROCERY STORE doesn’t carry and while you’re there buy your stupid groceries so you can get them CHEAP.  Cheap, dumb whore.

Then I have a customer WITH A CHILD...there is a child involved....I just wanted to point that out...that I adore.  I love her and her 4 year old son is so sweet and awesome and such a smart boy!  Why can’t they ALL be like that...with well behaved children and NON-fuck-nutted?

Anyway....enough about that.

OMG I almost forgot!  Have y’all noticed how....LIGHT people are getting?  Like everyone is glowing white for fear that the sun is going to come down and ass-rape them or something.  I mean, I know I am translucent.  I always have been.  But dude, it is SO weird to see everyone so pasty white.

I’m off to eat chips and dip and glory in all thing unnatural to eat. 

No.  I’m not crazy.  No.  I’m not particularly rich nor do I own stocks in oil or really much of anything anymore.

Here is the reason:  Today I went shopping at Target.  Usually, this Target is nut-to-butt full of loud-ass bitches standing around in the aisles like the assholes they tend to be.  But today?  Today was different.  I swear to you that there couldn’t have been more than 25 customers in the whole store.  It was amazing.  I didn’t have to worry about someone’s unruly child darting out of an aisle in front of me.  I didn’t have to walk around the statues that are always congregating in the aisles.  No, today I walked unimpeded through the entire store.  And when I went to pay for my items there was absolutely no wait whatsoever to pay.

Finally I can stand to go out in public again now that all the people are staying home because of $4.49/US gallon gasoline and inflated prices.  Finally I can shop in peace.  Finally I can get what I need without being annoyed the fuck to death with stupid people.

The first store I visited was Big Lots.  I went in, found what I was looking to buy (scrapbooking crap) and proceeded to the cashier.  She rang my order wordlessly and when I handed her my debit card, she said her first words to me, “ID.” That was it.  Two letters she grunted at me.  Then she ran my card and plopped the paper down on the counter along with a pen and said her second thing to me, “Sign.” Ooooooooookay.  So I did and thanked her and she managed to spit out the word, “Thanks.” before shoving my receipt at me and moving on to the next person in line.  Wowza.  I was floored.  I mean, I work in retail.  I do.  I do it because, well, for one I am good at it and for another I don’t want to go anywhere outside of my town.  I understand the hard work that these people do.  I understand that some customers are real ASSHOLES.  But me?  I am not.  I can be a difficult customer if I want to be but today, I was not. 

The second shop that I visited was The Dollar Tree.  God.  I got the crap that I went for (clothespins) and proceeded to the cashier.  I placed my items on her counter (I had three) and wordlessly she rang my order.  She didn’t even tell me the total.  I handed her my four single dollar bills and she made change from her till then shoved the change at me along with my receipt.  Not a single word was uttered by her.  Not a fuck you.  Not an amount total.  Nothing.  Was she mute?  No.  She was not as she didn’t have a problem speaking to a co-worker.  I mean, MY GOD.  Are you serious?  If you dislike your job that much then fucking quit and do something else.  Can’t do anything else?  Then FUCKING GET OVER YOURSELF. 

So, in closing, I would like to take this opportunity to say, “THANK YOU!” to everyone that never got a thank you or a word grunted at them before in a store or shop.

Anyway, I’m not dead.  I’m just uhm, well, not really having much to say on the blog-front.  I do post regularly on my craft blog because I don’t have to really say much there. 

I think that my boobs are getting smaller.  Can they do that?  Why would they get smaller?  Maybe I need to go bra shopping.  Or get a boob lift or a boob job.  Or something.  I mean, my boob are my crowning glory!  They can’t SHRINK for pity’s sake!

I’m liking my job some more.  I did some number figuring and I found that even if I went to get a “regular” job that I’d make about the same monies since I would have to go out of town and pay for fuel costs and bridge tolls and parking fees.  So yeah, I guess I’ll stay here a while. 

So...like I am going to try to be around the intarwebz tomorrow (Wednesday) and perhaps even on my webcam.  Well, I am going to have my nails done in the morning but other than that I’ll be around.  Wewt! 

Later, y’all! 

I am boring. 

I don’t even have any pictures to share. 

Feh.