The paper and metal kind.  Not the kind I get from my debit card. 

Why?  Because one of the reasons that I detest going out shopping is because inevitably, I will always be behind some douchebag who is counting out money. 

~~~~~~~

Cashier:  Your total is $56.96.

Douchebag:  *digs around in their giant suitcase sized purse* Twenty, thirty, thirty-five, forty, forty-one, forty-two, forty-three, forty-four, forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven, forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one, fifty two.....oh...lemme see....Twenty, twenty-five, thirty-five, forty, forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven, forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two, fifty-three, fifty-four, fifty-five, fifty-six, fifty------wait, I have change!  Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five, forty, forty-five, fifty, fifty-five, sixty, sixty-five, seventy, seventy-five, eighty, eighty-five....oh...I don’t have enough...lemme just give you another dollar. 

Cashier:  From $57.00....

Douchebag:  WAIT!  Lemme give you the six cents.  One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six.

Cashier:  From $57.06.  Your change is ten cents.

Douchebag:  Can you give me two fives for this ten?  Do you have a roll of quarters?

Me:  OH MY FUCK.  MOVE THE FUCK ON BEFORE I SLAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOU!

Douchebag:  *glares at me as though I were the one being retarded*

Twenty minutes later...after Douchebag gets all her change put away.

Cashier:  Your total is $56.96.

Me:  *swipes debit card, enters pin and waits 10 seconds or less*

Cashier:  *hands me my receipt*

~~~~~~~

WHY DO THEY DO THAT?  I propose that cash be eliminated.  Just think of the savings from not having to print dollars or mint coins!  Not to mention the savings of TIME which is much more precious to me than anything else right now since I don’t seem to have much of it.  Just swipe your debit card and move the hell on.  Companies would save money too because the cashiers would be more efficient not having to count change and wait on people like Douchebag.