BIG WHOOP.  I ain’t turning soft, Mary Dawn!  Hag.

Anyway, yes, alive.  I am.  NO need to send out a search party (unless the search party is carrying Malibu rum, cheese and chocolate, then by ALL means, send them!)

I’ve just been on a break.  WE WERE ON A BREAK!  I’m not one to overdramatize the whole “taking a break” thing so I just did.  Okay?  Fine.  I’m not saying my break is over.

Anyway, so what is up in my world?  Well....nothing much exciting.  Well...except my brother and SIL are going to have another baby!  They’ll soon have a whole litter of those things running around.  Creepy. 

Work is.....well, work.  Still with the funky hours that drive me insane. 

And on the subject of work....now, y’all know that I work in the drugs/pharmacy part of the grocery store, right?  Well...I do..if you didn’t know.  ANYway.  I am never...ever...ever...surprised anymore at what people do.  I am amazed sometimes but for the most part, I’ve come to expect that they will all be assholes or that they will overshare at some point or that they will be pissed off at the most RUH-tarded thing EVer. 

For example, old men are categorized three ways...really sweet and harmless, lechers, and grumpy old farts with nothing better to do than to be an asshole.  There is one may who when I asked him if I could help him, he replied to me, “I’m standing here ain’t I?” My thought?  Yes, you cantankerous old fart and if you are going to be a rude asshole, then you won’t be standing there much longer coz I’ll knock you down and break your hip.  And let us take for instance the woman who was upset that we didn’t carry unbleached tampons because they regular ones UPSET THE BALANCE IN HER VAGINA.  Thanks for the overshare. 

And then today.  We had a woman who was annoying the piss out of several people because we didn’t have an iced tea pitcher with a spigot spout on it for her.  Seriously.  She was going on for FIFTEEN MINUTES about this stupid-ass pitcher.  And then she went in to how expensive the store had gotten.  DUH BITCH...EVERYTHING HAS GOTTEN MORE EXPENSIVE. . . WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?  And then she went on some more about the tea pitcher.  I was feeling like, “OMFG WE ARE A GROCERY STORE!  IT ISN’T AS THOUGH WE ARE OUT OF MILK OR BREAD.” For fuck’s sake.  Go to Target and Wal-Mart if you want a whole bunch of shit that the GROCERY STORE doesn’t carry and while you’re there buy your stupid groceries so you can get them CHEAP.  Cheap, dumb whore.

Then I have a customer WITH A CHILD...there is a child involved....I just wanted to point that out...that I adore.  I love her and her 4 year old son is so sweet and awesome and such a smart boy!  Why can’t they ALL be like that...with well behaved children and NON-fuck-nutted?

Anyway....enough about that.

OMG I almost forgot!  Have y’all noticed how....LIGHT people are getting?  Like everyone is glowing white for fear that the sun is going to come down and ass-rape them or something.  I mean, I know I am translucent.  I always have been.  But dude, it is SO weird to see everyone so pasty white.

I’m off to eat chips and dip and glory in all thing unnatural to eat.